Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello. Welcome to our podcast and thank you for listening. My name is Elizabeth and I'm the founder of the Intuitive Writing Project, a writing based empowerment program for girls and gender expansive youth. We are dedicated to giving young women a safe, encouraging, non critical, unconditionally supportive space to write their story, speak their truth, and assert their voice, both as writers and as individuals. I created this program eleven years ago because it's what I wanted and needed when I was young, a safe place to be truly seen and heard. That's why we use the Amherst writing method, a radically nurturing and empowering writing methodology. I wish everyone learned in school. You can read more about the Amherst method on their website and in Pat Schneider's groundbreaking book, writing alone and with others. But the basic principles and the ones that guide all our classes are one, everyone is a writer with important stories to tell two, everyone has their own unique voice, a voice that needs to be heard and three, our voice will grow stronger and clearer the more it is supported and positively affirmed.
The way we affirm our writers is to repeat, back and lift up the words, lines, phrases, or concepts that really resonated for us in the classroom. Everyone writes together, everyone shares their writing, and then everyone gives each other grounded, positive feedback. Since we can't violate the sanctity of our classes by recording what goes on there, these one on one conversations are designed to provide a little glimpse, a microcosm, of what happens in the classroom.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: You can also read about our and.
[00:01:51] Speaker A: Read the girl's words as they were published on our blog, the intuitive Voice, with the links below. If you enjoy listening to one young writer read their words and talk about it. Imagine how powerful it is when six young writers are reading their words and giving each other positive, affirming feedback. It's pretty life changing, and there's a lot more I could say about it, but I'll let these young writers speak for themselves. On behalf of all the writers at the intuitive writing project, I want to thank you in advance for supporting the stories of young women. Making the time to be present and really listen to girls. Listen to the wisdom, insight, and brilliance of each girl is how we change the world. Thank you for supporting the voices of young women.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: Today. I'm so excited to be talking with the brilliant young writer Eva Mocha about her beautiful poem to be a teenage girl. To get us started out, I'd love to introduce Ava. Ava, if you could give us your pronouns, the current grade you're in, what got you into writing, how you feel about it now? Like if you have any early memories of writing, or if you just came to it recently, what you enjoy about writing?
[00:03:07] Speaker C: Yeah. So I'm Ava. My pronouns are she, her. I'm in 10th grade, so I'm a sophomore, and I feel like with writing, like, I never really hated it or anything. I always liked it. But, like, my earliest memories are kind of like their school writing, like being forced to write in school.
But now I kind of, like, realize that writing can be more of, like a hobby, not a chore, and that it can be, like, an interest that I really love.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Ava, if you would please read us your poem. To be a teenage girl.
[00:03:38] Speaker C: Yeah, of course. 1 second. Okay. To be a teenage girl to be a teenage girl is tiring. A constant battle with yourself and others. A captivating yet strenuous time of self love and self hate. Trends and diets galore. Burn 200 calories in ten minutes. Do this workout for instant abs. Low calorie recipes. Lose ten pounds. I thought I looked good the way I was until I gazed at the reality in front of me and saw that becoming a teenage girl isn't so easy. That plastering on mascara, concealer, lip gloss, and fighting against my will to look presentable yet effortless was the only possible way that I would look okay to the masses. Hundreds of dollars wasted on stupid skirts and crop tops that I hated how I looked in them, so much so that they were soon pushed into the back of my closet, collecting dust and turning into distant artifacts. I wish that I wasn't so afraid of the girls who strutted around the hallways with their perfect bodies and perfect faces.
I wish that I wasn't so afraid to impress them. All I wanted was to be friends with them, to gain their approval. But in reality, I didn't understand that other people had the same insecurities as me. Equally struggle with the life that I perceived perfect. As badly as I want my several teenage years to end, being a teenage girl, strengthening it's emotional endearing. As much as it's filled with hate, it's also filled with love. Girls paint over the cracks in their friendships and replace the insults and disparage with kindness and affection. When the time finally comes to an end, I know I will miss it, long for it, cry over it, but also celebrate. Because I can finally let it go.
That's what being a teenage girl is. On behalf of all of us, we wish you knew, cared, or understood that being a teenage girl is tiring.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: That is so beautiful and powerful. Oh my God. Thank you, Ava.
What struck me about this. And, of course, I've heard it before, but every time I read it, it's so moving to me, because any woman of any age, whether you're old or young, you either relate to this poem because you are a teenage girl, or you remember exactly how it felt. It's such a universal experience.
And I think the. What's interesting is there's two parts to this. There's the societal pressure on girls that is so crushing and so tiring is such a great word. It's just really hard. It's like a constant tidal wave of judgment and expectations and pressures that's leveraged against girls, that girls didn't choose it or ask for it, but they're trying to navigate their way through it. And then the second part of the piece that's so cool is how the writer shows the strength of girls. Like, even amidst all this awful social pressure that makes us hate ourselves, there's this spirit of strength and wisdom and love inside of girls that they can bring love to things despite a really unfair, difficult time period.
Okay. A couple lines that. Well, I mean, every line was amazing, but I loved. Yes, as much as it's filled with hate, it's also filled with love. Girls paint over the cracks in their friendships and replace the insults and disparage with kindness and affection. Like, that feels heroic. And I personally, of course, I believe this, that teenage girls are heroic. And I feel like the writer captured that.
I wanted to ask because we'll sort of bounce back and forth about the piece and your creative process. Like, when you were writing it, did you expect that there would be, because it is a shift, like, towards the end of the piece where it starts reclaiming your power. Did you expect it to happen, or did it just, like. It was just, like, the natural result?
[00:07:35] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, I feel like when I started writing it, like, I was kind of focusing on, like, the negative things, but then I kind of realized that, like, I'm still in, like, my early years of high school, but, like, girls, like, start to get so much better during high school and stuff like that. So I feel like it kind of came naturally. Like, I was like, oh. Like, I'm realizing it's not all negativity, like, society.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: Right, right. Well, and that is. I mean, the reason I ask you to read this piece now is, of course, because there have been so many studies coming out, and they're really important about the mental health crisis for girls. And I feel like, I mean, there's a million reasons for it, and you've just highlighted a few of the reasons. There's so many reasons that girls struggle and, like. But this piece captures. It's a microcosm of the experience that all girls have. It's insane what we push onto girls. And it actually makes sense that girls.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: Would be, of course, who wouldn't be.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: Struggling with these kinds of pressures on top of you. So I always want to emphasize the fact that girls are so powerful, girls are so resilient. And that's what this piece shows, the resilience of girls. Like, how insane is it that we expect? Okay, let's go back to some of these lines. They're so freaking good. I love where the writer quoted, these are totally advertisements that would be on social media. Burn 200 calories in ten minutes.
Do this workout for instant abs. We were just talking about the whole, what is a natural stomach? We don't even know anymore.
[00:09:11] Speaker C: I know, right?
[00:09:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
So it's just trends and diets galore, these things. Like, just. I think there's a lot of power in quoting an actual ad because, like, you can't make this stuff up.
[00:09:27] Speaker C: Yeah, I know, right? Yeah.
[00:09:29] Speaker B: And it's like, oh, my God, this is insane.
The plastering on great word mascara, concealer, and lip gloss.
And then also, this is the other thing about being just female in this world is the paradox. Like, on one hand, the writer captured this presentable yet effortless.
Like, you're supposed to. We're expected to spend quite a lot of time and quite a lot of money to look a special way, but it's supposed to look like we haven't spent any time.
[00:10:03] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
[00:10:06] Speaker B: It's so crazy. And then I really like the use of the word the masses.
It was only possible way I would look okay to the masses, because that really captures the insanity of this, that we're not just supposed to look fine to ourselves. We're supposed to look good to everybody. The masses is, like, such a great word for, like, an insane idea.
And then, of course, the stupid skirts and crop tops and hating how one looked in them. So relatable. So relatable. I feel like pretty much 99% of girls will relate to.
And then I love, of course, you know, having it pushed back into the closet, collecting dust. And I love the phrase distant artifact.
And then so relatable. That line about the girls with their perfect bodies and perfect faces. Like, again, every girl and woman on earth can relate to that.
[00:11:11] Speaker C: Perfect.
[00:11:12] Speaker B: And I think that word perfect, I wish I could expunge it from the english language because it's, like, the worst word.
[00:11:20] Speaker C: Yeah, it's. Yeah.
[00:11:21] Speaker B: And no, nobody. And I think what's ironic, too, about this piece, I'm always reading interviews of everybody. I love interviews like this right now, and they've read interviews of beautiful actresses, and they. That are, like, everyone agrees they have the perfect face and perfect body, and they don't think.
[00:11:42] Speaker C: They don't think that. Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:44] Speaker B: Perfect is, like this. Impossible. And so anyway, I love that. Like, it was shortly after that. It shifts. Then it goes. The writer says, but in reality. And then talks about understanding that other people had the same insecurities. That is such a deep insight.
[00:12:00] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: That they equally struggled with a life that I perceive perfect. I mean, that's the. To realize that when you're young is, like, liberation, because then, you know, oh, my God, everyone's going through it. And then the last. The end was so magnificent that being a teenage girl is strengthening. It's emotional, endearing, filled with love. I mean, that's such a beautiful. And you've done this with some of your other pieces. I feel like you, as a writer, have an exceptional ability to reframe things, to see, like, you see it through the world's eyes. That's kind of how the beginning of the piece is. It's like, this is the world. In fact, you said this. I thought I looked good the way I was until I gazed at the reality in front of me. And I feel like that is the writer saying, I was fine until society made me feel bad, basically. Right?
[00:13:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: And then. But you're so good. Like, you acknowledge, like, that's happening, but then you're also able to, like, switch back and see it through your own eyes and see, like, the beauty and the goodness and, oh, my God. To realize, like, when it comes to an end, like, I'm gonna miss it.
[00:13:24] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:24] Speaker B: And I love being able to love. It felt like self loving, a self loving, an expression of self love in the midst of a society that doesn't want you to love yourself. In fact, there's that great quote. To love yourself in our society is the greatest act of revolution, because technically, our society makes more money off of us not loving ourselves.
[00:13:49] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:50] Speaker B: So I love that you also said, on behalf of all of us, which is, like, such a leadership statement, like, stepping out, we wish you knew, cared, or understood, that being a teenage girl is tiring. And I feel like that, again, that just captures what's happening in the world that people are.
I feel like adults don't give teenage girls credit enough for withstanding all the crap that we throw at you, and then also for being stronger than it, for not letting it break you and pushing through it, and also just being exhausted, and you deserve more rest. So I want to talk about the creative process just when you're writing in general, when you start out, of course, we always have to face that blank page, and we have, you know, there's always prompts and suggestions of things to write about, but that doesn't really help you when you're just. It's you and the page by yourself.
How do you get started, and how do you push through when you're, like, can't think of anything to write about?
[00:15:00] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I kind of just, like, if I'm having a hard time, like, I'll just kind of start just, like, writing down stuff on a page that I think is, like. Or, like, ideas I've had in the past, stuff like that. And I'll just, like, if it. If it takes, like, five different tries, like, it'll take five different tries, but if it's, like, if I'm having a really hard time, I go kind of just, like, take a little break and, like, listen to music. Like, do something like that. Like, a small break. It's obviously in this, like, when I'm in the class and doing writing, like, I'll just, like, take a little breather, like, see what I can think of. So I love that.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: I love that you take a break, and I'm really glad you mentioned that, because that, that is something I always encourage, that when you're in school, you can't take breaks. I mean, yeah, you're living on the bell schedule, but here you absolutely can. And this has been studied so many times. We are most creative when we're not trying to be creative, and we just relax. So I love that your instinct, your intuition, just so brilliant is to just, like, chill out and do something to, like, like, calm your brain, relax, get away from it, and then an idea comes to you.
[00:16:07] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:08] Speaker B: Do you find?
I mean, I know that we're all at the beginning of our own process. We're all figuring out all the time, but is there a specific thing that you do that you think is most helpful? Like, when you do, is it listening to music that helps the most? What do you think is the most helpful?
[00:16:27] Speaker C: Yeah, you know, just, like, basically anything, like, taking a break. Like, what you would do taking a break. So, like, I don't know, listening to music. This sounds bad, but, like, going on TikTok for a couple minutes.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's great.
[00:16:41] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, stuff like that.
[00:16:43] Speaker B: So, actually, I think I'm glad you said it, because, again, that's another thing that adults are always saying bad things about social media.
[00:16:52] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:52] Speaker B: I mean, I think partly it's because we're aware that we get sucked into it, and it is. It can be a suck, but if you use it, use it rather than being used by it, it's absolutely wonderful because there's always depending when you. Because everybody, you know, curates their own account. If you have cool, inspiring things in there, you're going to go find some inspiration.
[00:17:15] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
[00:17:18] Speaker B: That's awesome. And, of course, there's a lot of stuff on TikTok that is songs and poetry.
[00:17:24] Speaker C: Yeah, there's so much poetry on TikTok. So if, like, if I need an idea, if I need some inspiration, I'll just maybe search it up. Search, like, something like, I don't know, poetic. Or I'll just, like, look at, like, lyrics. Like, like, the list I've made. Like, that'll, like, that helps getting the, like, creative juices flowing.
[00:17:44] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. I love that. I love that writing is so much about reading. I think that reading is always inspiring. I'm obsessed with quotes and music as well, because it's, like, a great line from somebody else somehow. It's the magic of art that you read their line and there's some, like, rhythm to it or magic to it, and it sparks things for yourself. Yeah, it's great. So, okay, that would be. That leads me to my final question, and it's kind of related to what we were just saying, but, like, if you could give advice to other young writers who they may or may not love writing but they want to write more, what would your advice be?
[00:18:27] Speaker C: I feel like, obviously, taking this class, I feel like before, I never just decided to write freely or write for fun. So just kind of taking this class, finding ways to just get your creative juices flowing, just finding more ways to be creative. I don't know. This class has helped me a lot. Even though I've only done it for a short time, it's helped me become more creative, become more motivated, and stuff like that. So I don't know, just, like, find, like, ways to be creative. But there's still ways that, like, stuff you, like, love to do.
[00:19:04] Speaker B: Yes. Actually, I think that what I'm hearing the writer say, the speaker, is that it's time, having time, and that is probably where we all need the most.
[00:19:18] Speaker C: Sitting down. Like, if it's, like, you love sitting outside, like, finding a place that you love first and then getting that, like, setting aside that time.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: That's brilliant. That's brilliant. I hope by the time your generation is middle aged, the society has shifted to honor and make time for creative expression. And your generation will hopefully do it because Gen Z is amazing and it's truly my pleasure. And thank you for sharing your poem today.
[00:19:48] Speaker C: Of course, something about it.
[00:19:51] Speaker B: Ava, you're so brilliant. I love it.
[00:19:53] Speaker C: Thank you.
