Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello.
[00:00:00] Speaker B: Welcome to our podcast and thank you for listening. My name is Elizabeth and I'm the founder of the Intuitive Writing Project, a writing based empowerment program for girls and gender expansive youth. We are dedicated to giving young women a safe, encouraging, non critical, unconditionally supportive space to write their story, speak their truth, and assert their voice, both as writers and as individuals. I created this program eleven years ago because it's what I wanted and needed when I was young, a safe place to be truly seen and heard. That's why we use the Amherst writing method, a radically nurturing and empowering writing methodology. I wish everyone learned in school. You can read more about the Amherst method on their website and in Pat Schneider's groundbreaking book, writing alone and with others. But the basic principles and the ones that guide all our classes are one, everyone is a writer with important stories to tell two, everyone has their own unique voice, a voice that needs to be heard and three, our voice will grow stronger and clearer the more it is supported and positively affirmed.
The way we affirm our writers is to repeat back and lift up the words, lines, phrases, or concepts that really resonated for us in the classroom. Everyone writes together, everyone shares their writing, and then everyone gives each other grounded, positive feedback. Since we can't violate the sanctity of our classes by recording what goes on there, these one on one conversations are designed to provide a little glimpse, a microcosm of what happens in the classroom.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: You can also read about our and read the girl's words as they were.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: Published on our blog, the Intuitive Voice, with the links below. If you enjoy listening to one young writer read their words and talk about it. Imagine how powerful it is when six young writers are reading their words and giving each other positive, affirming feedback. It's pretty life changing and there's a lot more I could say about it, but I'll let these young writers speak for themselves. On behalf of all the writers at the intuitive writing project, I want to thank you in advance for supporting the stories of young women. Making the time to be present and really listen to girls, listen to the wisdom, insight, and brilliance of each girl is how we change the world. Thank you for supporting the voices of young women today.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: I'm so honored and excited to be interviewing our brilliant writer, Erin Hambidge, who will be reading a really relevant poem even though it was written several months ago. Before we begin, I wanted to have Erin introduce herself. If you could tell us your pronouns, your grade level, and then a little anecdote about your first memory of writing, of course. So.
[00:03:03] Speaker C: Hi, guys. I'm Erin, and I'll be graduating high school in May, so actually just three weeks away. And I usually her pronouns. And so my first memory of having written a story would be fifth grade. I had Missinoni, who is absolutely wonderful, and she basically gave us a passion project. So we had a couple days a week to focus on something that we are interested in or something that we like to do. So it was like photography and writing, and it was kind of all over the map. And I wanted to write a book. And so even though I never finished the book, I did start it, and I got to read it to my class once a week.
[00:03:55] Speaker A: That is incredible that even at that age, at ten years old, you had that vision of being a writer and writing a book. And what was the book about?
[00:04:05] Speaker C: So it was about a teenage spy named Willow.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: I love that. And did you actually finish it? Like, did you manage to get to the end? Because it's hard to finish a story like that.
[00:04:21] Speaker C: I don't think that I did. In fifth grade, my attention span movie wasn't as long as it is now. So I remember I was doing illustrations. I had the idea for a title page, but I don't know that it was ever longer than 30 pages.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: So cute. I wish we could have you read from that as well. That would have been really cool. Do you still have it?
[00:04:47] Speaker C: A copy of it somewhere? Yes.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: Okay. Keep it in a fireproof box, because you're going to want to read that when you're older. And you will probably be amazed at your talent at age ten. I'm sure that I will. You will be. You will be when you get older. So for today, I wanted you to read the poem that you wrote, actually, this past summer. It was the class we had right after the 4 July, and you wrote about. It was. We had been talking about what happened with the shooting in Highland Park, Illinois, and you wrote a poem, and it's about gun violence. And I just wanna preface it by, just to give everyone context. As of this recording on May 11, there have been 202 mass shootings in 2023, which is more shootings than there have been days in the year. So this piece, even though it was written back in July and 2022, it's as relevant, if not more relevant than ever. And it's so beautiful. If you would begin your piece. Happy 4 July.
[00:05:57] Speaker C: Firework or firearm. Red, white and blue explode across the sky. Colors of mourning for a country riddled with bullets land of the free, home of the brave our strongest soldiers are schoolchildren armed with clear backpacks and the fear that one day shelter in place will not be enough.
Empty buses, empty classrooms. Ar 15s are free because education is the price we pay. There will be no next time. But next time is today, tomorrow, and the day after that. The flag stands at half mast. Soon it will fall. Buried under a million futures never realized. A million gunshots never stopped. A million promises never kept. An anthem of triumph for a country of tragedy.
How dare you kneel. How dare you shed a tear. Stand up and pray for your country. Clasp hands for the lost souls, the victims of the violent american dream. Sing not for stars and stripes, but for families who never said goodbye. Enough is enough. But it goes on, on, on, on.
Turn off the news. Mute the tv. What's one more name the list is too long to see? Pack the picnic blankets, the hot dogs, the extra extra napkins. When fireworks echo, so do shots. Happy 4 July, America.
Oh, my God.
[00:07:26] Speaker A: Hearing it again, I mean, I've read it a couple of times, but hearing you read it in your voice, especially in the context of what's going on in the world right now, gave me goosebumps. This is such a powerful piece. What's so, I think, most potent about it is that the language is so simple, it almost feels like a children's story. But it's. Every word is loaded with meaning. And, of course, the theme is very deep.
Couple lines that jumped out at me that are. They're all beautiful. But I loved the line, our strongest soldiers are schoolchildren armed with clear backpacks. Oh, my God.
I mean, again, simply said, but loaded with meaning. And I really.
It should be. I wish every adult in the world could read this piece, especially the people who are. Who don't want to ban guns, because this is the wisdom of a young person recognizing a serious problem that needs to be resolved by the people in power.
And, of course, this incredible, oh, my God. This is what gave me goosebumps, that it's buried under a million futures never realized, a million gunshots never stopped. A million promises never kept. Because, of course, it kind of feels like it has been a movie, and it's going to continue to exponentially increase. I love also the line, an anthem of triumph for a country of tragedy. It's so poetic.
And then the line class pans for the lost souls, the victims of the violent american dream. And that's something I'll pause for a minute to talk about. This line, the violent american dream. That's something that we talked about in class. And something that comes up so often is that somehow violence is inextricably linked with this dream fantasy of what we think America should be. And that's why this is so potent that it's happy. 4 July is the name of the poem. It's such a great satire.
I wanted to ask you about when you were beginning this poem. Or let's go back even further.
Whenever we have a discussion in class and then we have prompts, I always give everyone some options. And then I also say, write about whatever you want. You can always write whatever's up for you right now. Fiction, nonfiction, whatever you need to write.
Did you know when you started writing upfront that you would be writing about this? Or did it just sort of emerge and then tell us a little bit about the process for you of writing this?
[00:10:23] Speaker C: Yeah. So it was on my mind, of course. But I think when I sat down to write, it definitely wasn't at, like, the very forefront of my mind.
And it was actually one of those days where I was like this. This is the day where I don't have anything to show the class.
And I was thinking about the 4 July, because I don't remember if it was coming up or maybe it had happened. I can't remember the exact date. And the irony is, I think I originally set out to write something about the 4 July that was maybe a little nostalgic, almost like a happy short story.
And it kind of just went there almost as soon as I started writing.
And it's easier, I think, to write about something that really hits home emotionally, because it was like, once I started writing about this one event, like this one shooting that was on my mind. I had a friend who was in Chicago a couple blocks away at the time, it kind of, I think, just, like, tapped into the larger kind of current of, like, anger and sadness that has existed among high schoolers and their families for a really long time.
And just the idea that the burden of protection kind of falls to students and teachers and their families. You brought up the clear backpack line. But it's like, it's so hard when I think about that, because I get it. I get why school districts do it, but all these little things, it's like the clear backpacks and shelter and place drills, and it's like, things that can do so much good, but it's like.
It's just a reminder.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: It's so twisted that it sort of just become this normal thing that, like, of course, you have metal detectors and clear backpacks. There was that line about the shelter in place. I wanted to talk about, too, the fear that one day the shelter in place will not be enough. And AR 15s are free because education is the price we pay. I was going to ask you if you had shelter. Do you guys still have shelter in place? Drills?
[00:12:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: How often?
[00:12:48] Speaker C: So, usually? Well, so, like, we classify a emergency drill like it could fall under fire, earthquake, or, like, on campus threat. I don't know if that's the right wording. So I would say most often we have drills for, like, a natural disaster. Like, what do you do if there's an earthquake or there's a fire? And so, like, we'll all go out onto the fields. But I would say, like, very rarely we do practice what to do if there's. And they never. They never say, like, if there's a shooter on campus. But, I mean, it's implied. I think that's what would happen most times if we were in that situation. And so, you know, we, like, close the windows and sit under our desks for, you know, three or four minutes.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: Oh, my God. That is so horrifying. It also reminds me of.
I managed to miss, fortunately miss both of those terrifying generations. The generation before me had, during the cold war, had nuclear war drills where they hid under their desk as if that would have protected them. And then your generation is hiding under your desk in danger of gun violence, which, of course, that also is not going to. Hiding under one's desk is so futile in the face of this horror. But just making you go through those motions, I feel like the way it normalizes it and makes it like this is just part of life. It's part of what you captured in this piece, the normalization of violence. And I think that's where some of the brilliant satire or sarcasm comes in. How dare you kneel. How dare you shed a tear.
Sing not for stars and stripes, but for families who have never said goodbye. And then I love. I think there's so much. This is the voice of your leadership and the leadership of your generation saying, enough is enough. Like, this is ridiculous. And then, of course, there's such excellent repetition and right after enough. After enough is enough. And then. But it goes on, on.
And I should note that on each, on is on its own line.
Listeners can see the link to this piece on our blog and see how it's written. The on on just really captures the tedium of this, a tragedy that we could prevent, but are sadly choosing not to. The list is too long to see. And then, of course, the very end goes back to what you were saying at the beginning about wanting initially to write something nostalgic. That pack the picnic baskets, the hot dogs, the extra napkins, all that has this beautiful nostalgic feel to it, but it's tainted by the violent american dream. And then, of course, the final line is freaking amazing. Happy 4 July, America. I love that sarcasm of that and well deserved because, like, come on, people. But you captured the insanity of the situation with so much clarity and grace.
So powerful.
Two more questions I wanted to ask you. I always ask about if you can think about this, let's do this question. Second, advice you would have for other writers when they get stuck writing or they're just stuck with that blank page at the beginning and, like, don't know what to write about. But before that, I want to hear if you have, like, if tomorrow you got an opportunity to give a speech to the whole world on this topic, what would be, like, the main thing that you would want them to understand if you could actually be heard? I feel like young people do not get heard enough. They have so many, especially young women, are so brilliant, so wise, so insightful, and people are not listening. So if people were listening, what would you say?
[00:16:56] Speaker C: Well, I would hopefully articulate it better than I'm sure I probably will now.
I think just the idea that people responsible for our current legislation, when they were in high school, this wasn't really real. And so I don't think there's obviously, like, the absence of any, like, real fear or, like, awareness of what it might feel like, you know, to go to school and see, like, a police car and, like, wonder why it's there. Or I, you know, to look at the door and wonder, like, what would I do if someone came in or, you know, I'm taking an AP test and, like, my table is, like, the one closest to the door. Like, is that good or is that bad?
And I think we don't really think about thinking about those thoughts. What is that? It's like metacognition.
They just kind of are.
And they've been there for I don't really know how long. And it's not like you ever say them out loud. It's almost just like a routine to think about stuff like that.
And I think that's, of course, like, the very heart of the problem.
And, you know, it's obviously not an issue that belongs solely to schools.
We see it, you know, in public and all over the news. Malls, shopping centers, homes, parks, you know, so many, like, public spaces that we value and that we, like, share as communities.
And so I think that's what's the saddest to me as an american citizen, because I won't have be in high school forever, you know, I'll only be there for a couple more weeks, but I will continue to belong to spaces like those, and I'll continue to be there, you know, for the rest of my life. And so I don't get to graduate gun violence. I get to graduate school, but that's not something that I get to leave behind as an american.
And so I would hope that that's something that we as a country could seem to understand more, or at least appear to show more consideration and sympathy towards.
[00:19:21] Speaker A: God. You are so eloquent, Erin, that, like, everything you said was, like, you'd written it in advance. But especially that line, I don't get to graduate from gun violence. God, it's really good. Really powerful line. But, yeah, because everyone who is your age and a couple years older has as living with this reality that people of my generation and older cannot fathom. And so I love that. I mean, now I can fathom it going out in public, but I can't fathom what that was like in school. It's hard enough that you have to take an AP test and then also, on top of that stress of school, also be thinking about how close I am to the door and an exit and will I survive it? That's, like, so unfair. So I love that you said that about sympathy and empathy for human beings. That's what we need, more leaders like you in the world. Thank you for your thoughts on that. And on a happy note, I would love your advice to other young writers with struggles with the blank page and or just getting started. How do you go forward and write when you get stuck?
[00:20:40] Speaker C: Usually I try to go back to, like, a topic that's familiar to me or something that I know I can write about.
Usually imagery of, like, nature or something that has a lot to think about, like, a topic that you can't really run dry. So I think that's, like, that probably looks different for everyone, but something as simple as, like, describing a setting or a season or something like that, I think that's one option, and then tapping into current events is another. And then I think we talk about this in class sometimes, but creating a character and, like, then hopefully, like, the plot for that character follows, like, the creation of the character.
So I think those three things are always really helpful. Sometimes I go back to old work because I have everything in the same notebook.
I don't know. I mean, it's like, I don't think anyone ever can predict writer's block.
So it's like, obviously, it's frustrating when it happens and you're just sitting there staring, but I think it's kind of nice time sometimes to just be able to sit there and look at a page.
[00:22:05] Speaker A: That's so helpful, I think, for everyone to understand that. And part of it is, it's almost like this is why I feel like writing can be sort of similar to meditation, because sometimes you just sit there and you just. Your mind is blank, and that's good. Most, I think we're so driven to be. Feel like we have to be productive and efficient and fast, we panic if we don't immediately have an idea or don't immediately know where the story is going. But actually, I love how you said that, that it can be nice to just sit there and, like, let your hat. Let there be nothing, and then just notice, like, the first little cloud of a thought that you're sober and follow it and see what happens and not be rushed about it.
Do you feel like it helps? Like, do you. I know in class we usually have a. A larger chunk of time, but do you find time is the thing that you need the most in terms of writing? Like, if somebody says write for ten minutes versus they give you an hour, does time help with that? Coming up with ideas?
[00:23:09] Speaker C: Yeah, for sure.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Because you can sit there, you can noodle on it and not have to be. And I also want to mention, because you're one of the few people who is multi talented in the writing in terms of writing genre. Most of us have one genre that we're more comfortable with. You write exceptional fiction and nonfiction and poetry.
When you write fiction, would you say that it's a different process from nonfiction, or is it? It's all the same. It's just how it comes out of.
[00:23:46] Speaker C: I think it is different. I mean, once it feels like once I get a story going or I have an idea for it, it buys me a month or two of class time, almost, because it's something you can build on and, like, a poem, which is usually, like, a one class activity, maybe two. You know, like, I'm going to go back to the drawing board pretty soon. So writing fiction and, like, coming up with an idea is maybe, like, a little bit more rewarding just because it carries on for longer and you get to, like, keep coming back to it. So, you know, you have maybe one class where you spend the whole class thinking about a story that you want to write, but once you have it, you don't have to stare at that blank page for a while.
[00:24:34] Speaker A: That's a good point. Fiction is more building things sort of up front, thinking about character and structure, and then it starts filling itself in. I also like what you said about just finding an interesting character and going with that, because you're right. That's the thing. If character determines plot, like, when our character is destiny is that famous quote. So when you know what the character wants and what they're going for, the plot kind of falls out of that. It's just like, well, of course, if they want this, this is going to happen and there's going to be conflicts. If a young writer came up to you and asked you what is the most helpful thing that you've learned in your writing experience?
To write fluidly and easily, what would that be? What's the single most helpful thing to be a writer?
[00:25:30] Speaker C: Single most?
Well, so I think obviously, a basic foundation for, like, grammar and language, which is something that I. Most people just seem to pick up as they go through school.
But overall, I would say confidence and having, like, a surety of, like, your voice and what you want to say. I don't like reading my own writing sometimes. I don't like going back to it because, I mean, it's kind of like looking at pictures of yourself sometimes or, you know, athletes analyzing highlights. Right. It's like, it's really easy to focus when, you know, you gave the ball up. So I still struggle with that kind of a lot with writing because it also feels like you're maybe, like, your most vulnerable when you're writing something like the poem that we read today.
So being able to feel confident in your voice and what you're writing about and also understanding that writing is just so, so valuable. Like, I mean, I would encourage everyone to write and feel confident writing just because, like, I. It is something that I will use for the rest of my life regardless of what I end up doing.
And I think that's what I've enjoyed so much with this program, is that I use things from the intuitive writing project every day, even though I don't write creatively every day. But it's everywhere in my life, from just emails to papers to presentations. It's just everywhere. And so going through that, like, with the confidence of voice is key. I think.
[00:27:26] Speaker A: That is so beautiful. Thank you for saying that about the program. And I just want to clarify when I think when you're saying confidence in your voice. Is it the feeling? Is it the knowing that, of course, I'm constantly drilling into everybody that what you have to say is important and that what's inside of you needs to come out? Or is it because confidence is such a slow process? Like, I'm still working on it, probably. We all work on it over a lifetime. But do you feel like it's that now, you know, because you've been writing every week for so long, that there's gonna trust that what comes up and what comes out is valid.
[00:28:11] Speaker C: Something that, I mean, we talk in school sometimes about, like, your writing voice, which, of course, is just your voice in words.
And I think what I've learned is just in general, like, people tend to appreciate when they can hear someone's voice and, like, their personality. And, like, I think that's confidence. So I think it's yes to both, but it's just understanding that, like, we're all our own harshest critics. So, like, a lot of the times, like, it's that, and it kind of acts as, like, a filter from ideas coming out onto the page. Like, we subconsciously just, like, cross them off the list before they even, like, fully form in our brains. And, like, who knows? Like, what good ideas my brain is hiding from me because it doesn't think that they're good enough, but just, like, allowing them to come out, even if you don't end up liking them in the long run.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: I love that line. Who knows what good ideas my brain is hiding from me? That should be a t shirt. That's really good. That is the essence of it. It's like, trust. If what you were saying is about authenticity, your authentic way of speaking, people, of course, everyone responds to that. And if we don't let our brains edit it out and keep us from saying it, it's going to actually land so much better than we think it is. So, yes, confidence, knowing that, like, you got good stuff in there and you just got to let it flow out. And we can always edit later, but get it on the page.
Yeah.
[00:29:50] Speaker C: Yes, exactly.
[00:29:52] Speaker A: Erin, you are such a great mind, a great writer, a great human being. It is always a great pleasure and honor to talk with you. Thank you so much for your time today and for talking about writing and just for all the years of creativity that you have brought to our lives. And I'm so proud of you. Congratulations on graduating in a few weeks.
[00:30:19] Speaker C: Thank you so much. And thank you for having me. I really enjoyed this.
