Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to the Intuitive Writing podcast, a production of the Intuitive Writing Project, a writing based empowerment program for girls and gender expansive youth. We are dedicated to giving young women a safe, encouraging, non critical, unconditionally supportive space to write their story, speak their truth, and assert their voice, both as writers and and as leaders.
My name is Elizabeth, and I created this program eleven years ago because it's what I wanted and needed when I was young, a supportive place to be truly seen and heard. That's why we use the Amherst writing method, a radically nurturing and empowering writing methodology I wish everyone had learned in grade school. You can read more about the Amherst method on their website and in Pat Schneider's groundbreaking book, writing alone and with others. But the basic principles and the ones that guide all our classes are that number one, everyone is a writer with important stories to tell. Two, everyone has their own unique voice, a voice that needs to be heard. And three, our voice will grow stronger and clearer the more it is supported and positively affirmed. The way that we do this is to repeat back and lift up words, lines, phrases, or concepts that really resonated for us in our classes. Everyone writes together, everyone shares their writing, and then everyone gives each other grounded, positive feedback. Since we can't violate the sanctity of our classes by recording what goes on there, these one on one conversations are designed to provide a little glimpse, a microcosm, of what happens in the classroom. You can also read about our and read the girls words as they were published on our blog, the Intuitive Voice, with the links below. If you enjoy listening to one young reader read their words and talk about it. Imagine how powerful it is when six young writers are reading their words and giving each other positive, affirming feedback. It's pretty life changing, and there's a lot more I could say about it, but I'll let these writers speak for themselves. On behalf of all the writers at the Intuitive Writing project, I want to thank you in advance for supporting the stories of young women.
Making the time to be present and really listen to girls, listen to the wisdom, insight, and brilliance of each girl is how we change the world today. I'm so honored and excited to be sharing the writing of our own brilliant Regan Cayley, who I would love for you, Reagan, to introduce yourself, tell us, give us your pronouns, what grade you are in school, and a little anecdote about your first experience writing.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Reagan. My pronouns are she, her, and I'm a graduating senior.
My first experience with writing was way back in like, first grade when we were writing how to books.
I was not a very eloquent writer. My spelling was horrible. So I finished my book in about an hour and got in a lot of trouble for not putting a lot of effort into my book.
But that didn't really sway me from writing. I've never been one to really listen to my teachers all too much, so it ended up working out.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: That's great.
Do you remember by any chance, what the topic was? What was your how to?
[00:03:37] Speaker B: I think it was like a how to do a cartwheel.
[00:03:40] Speaker A: Like, oh, well, how could you write for more than an hour about that? In fact, I'm impressed. You wrote for an hour. That's hard to describe.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: An hour was about three sentences for me.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: Well, you've come a long way since then, and I want to mention that Reagan has been writing with us since you were in 6th grade, which is amazing. And now you're graduating high school and going off to Michigan. Michigan University.
[00:04:09] Speaker B: University of.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: Thank you. All right, so I thought we would start with you reading your extraordinary piece. It's called I see you. And I want to mention to the audience that this was written shortly after, like a couple days after the Roe v. Wade was overturned. And this by the Supreme Court.
[00:04:29] Speaker B: I believe it was either late. No, it was early June, actually. Okay.
[00:04:34] Speaker A: It was this past summer. Okay, go ahead.
[00:04:38] Speaker B: Okay.
For those who are silent, I see you. For those who scoff at women in positions of power and who look away when the protest signs are graphic or images of bloody hangers flash across the screen, I see you. I'm all seeing. My eyes burn across the country and skip over plains and farms and cities and mountains and lakes and towns. My eyes do not cry tears because more than feeling sad, I am angry. This is a woman's issue. But all the uteruses in America are being silenced, and those who can speak are muted. I am scared. For now, in America, I'm less than equal. The constitution says all men are created equal. And motherfucking Amy Coney Barrett took that to be literal. To be born into girlhood is to be born neck deep into violence. Don't tell me that I have to live a life drowning in it and never holding it. I'm nothing but violence. My rage leaks into my sleep, my meals, my actions and my words. I'm angry at the men who don't speak out. Your mother, daughter, sister, and grandmother need you. I need you to fight for me. I see all of you. And while my uterus is shackled, my vision is unimpaired, this can't fade. My rage cannot pass like a tide or a storm. I refuse to let women across America with dreams, brains, hearts, and souls and wombs be reduced to the tale of a handmaid. Or worse, a cautionary statistic. Let us all remember the facts at hand. Restricting access to abortions doesn't lower the amount of abortions women get. It simply makes them more lethal. My dad asked why. I said, because the beauty of pro choice lies in the fact that one can choose. Even if Megan from Alabama doesn't want to terminate her pregnancy, Maria across the street can make that choice for herself. Sally, two blocks down, can recover after an ectopic fetus sent her into septic shock. And Grace, her neighbor, doesn't have to carry the baby of her rapist because reality is scary. Because raped victims will be forced to have the baby of their rapists, rapists who will get less jail time than anyone who aids and abets a woman in her efforts to secure reproductive health care. Rapist. Rapist, rapist. It's a scary word. But it's also a scary world. Because, dad, my bodily autonomy should be assumed, not left up to the states. It shouldn't be questioned, threatened, or regulated, especially not by old, white Mendez. Because AR 15s have less oversight than my 17 year old reproductive organs. And I'm so damn tired of active shooter drills when I should be learning about geography. Because when I ask how many more must die, I mean it. How many women will die from illegal procedural complications, suicide or untreated miscarriages? How many children will die? Bang, bang, bang. It's a scary sound, but it's a scary world. Reproductive rights are human rights. We're running backwards. Careening into a history of oppression and gender wars, leaning into a time where my inferiority is guaranteed and my comprehensive education is not as valuable as my womb. History is in the past for a reason. We were supposed to have moved on from it. We set the clocks back too far. We dug graves for women, and five justices held the shovels. Why can't five justices just move the fuck on and get their feet off of my neck? Freedom of religion was supposed to mean freedom from religion, too. So I'll wake up from my violent sleep, dust off my soapbox, and stand atop it. I'll yell and shout and fight tooth and nail, because I am a woman, and this is what I do. But know that I see you. I hear your silence across the country, next door, and at the dinner table, and I condemn you for it. You are complicit in the loss of my rights. Thankfully, I'll never lose my fight.
[00:08:26] Speaker A: This piece is so incredible. Every time I read it, I get really emotional, but hearing you read it this time, I had chills.
I feel like I just want this to be a video of you, your face reading this, that the whole world can see. That's how powerful it is.
Actually, before I comment on all the incredible lines, I just want to sort of change the format of the way we usually talk about creative process at the end. And I want to lead with your creative process because I think it's. Because it's so powerful how you wrote the piece and how it's structured and the intelligence. There is so much really scientific knowledge that goes into this political knowledge. All of it's woven together seamlessly. When you started writing it, you knew you were going to write about this theme, but were you surprised by how it unfolded or did you know it was going to unfold this way?
[00:09:21] Speaker B: I knew it was going to unfold this way. I. And this is clearly an issue I care a lot about. So I already had a lot of dots sort of, like, simmering, so it was very easy to get them all out.
I don't know. Most of my pieces look something like this, like a bunch of non attached thoughts attached to each other. So it was pretty simple in that it just.
[00:09:45] Speaker A: And I want to note for the audience that this poured out in a single class. You wrote this in, like, 30 minutes, maybe 40 minutes, really fast. And I like how you say your non attached thoughts. It's funny because to the reader and to me, it feels seamless. They all seem to flow together beautifully, like you've really had it organized in your head. So I think it's more organized than you realize.
Your brain is a beautiful palace of greatness. Okay, so I'm going to go read through some of the lines that jumped out at me that were just breathtaking, I think from the very first line, for those who are silent, I see you. And this whole paragraph of this sort of omniscient is the word that came to mind, this omniscient narrator who is all seeing, but also because it's a feminine narrator and also a wise, feminine, a wise, omniscient, feminine narrator. It felt like almost the embodiment of the goddess. Like the greek goddesses looking down, maybe Nike or Athena looking down on the world and being like, the eyes of truth are on you. It's so incredible to, I think, because we do feel like no one's in charge, no one knows what's going on, but the narrator does. The narrator sees everything they see through the bullshit. I love this line. Line.
My eyes do not cry tears because more than feeling sad, I am angry. All uteruses in America are being silenced and those who can speak are mute.
The line about how all men are created equal and motherfucking Amy Coney. Coney. Is that right?
Took that to be literal. Ugh.
Born neck deep into violence. And then again, the personification of the violence of the culture. I am nothing but violence. My rage leaks into my sleep, my meals, my actions, my words. And then all the list of things I am angry at. And then that line, I see all of you. And while my uterus is shackled, my vision is unimpaired. I think that's a really important line because so much of misogyny for 5000 years has been this idea that somehow by being female and having a uterus, we're irrational or we can't see things clearly, we don't know what's going on. And it's so strong and clear that it is the very womanness of this narrator that makes them so powerful.
Going down to the second paragraph, that whole description of the different, personifying it with individual examples, megan grace, all these different Maria girls that are having very specific, realistic situations. That grounds it. And then, of course, when the writer is having to explain this thing to their father. And the father, of course, is like, to me, it's like a metaphor for explaining to patriarchy, which is, I would.
[00:12:56] Speaker B: Like to add that my dad is actually very much a feminist, someone to.
[00:13:01] Speaker A: Say, yes, I feel like it's a metaphor. The father is definitely a metaphor. Patriarch is, I think, originates from the word father. I think. I don't know my latin. So. So it's patriarchy. Yeah. And then I think it's so powerful when the writer just names three times in a row. Rapist, rapist, rapist. Because nobody wants to hear that word. But of course, that's what's happening all the time. It's a scary word, but it's also a scary world.
So incredible. And then, of course, my bodily autonomy should not be left up to the states and certainly not old white men. Again, patriarchy. And then I think it's really interesting how the writer brings in the whole issue of gun.
Gun violence and the whole thing about how AR 15s are less have. There's more. You have more freedom if you have a gun than if you have a uterus. That line, AR 15s have less oversight than my 17 year old reproductive organs. And that, of course, bringing in the whole thing about active shooter drills. It's very interesting.
One of our previous podcasts was from somebody writing about active shooter drills. So this ties in so powerfully.
How many children, how many children will die? Bang, bang, bang. Again, that repetition of it's a scary sound, but it's a scary world. And I love that the writer does this because I think so many times people. One of the ways people silence activists is there. They say they're alarmists or they're making it too dramatic. And it's like, no, it really is alarming and dramatic, and we need to be talking about it because we can't talk about it. We can't change it. And that's what the writer is doing. The line, of course, very famous, but so perfect in this moment. Reproductive rights are human rights. And then I love the line we're running backwards, careening great verb into a history of oppression and gender wars. Such a great description of what's happening.
History is in the past for a reason. So simple and so true. And then this pine, we dug graves for women, and five justices held the shovels. Why can't five justices just move the fuck on and get their feet off my neck? Of course, feet off my neck is a great reference to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who said, of course, women just want men to get their feet off our neck, which is such a powerful visual image, because it's like, how can you not be angry with somebody's foot on your neck? It's not like a hand lightly holding your wrist. It's a foot on your neck. And that is the intensity of what's happening right now, which you've captured beautifully. And then the last paragraph is so strong, I was going to ask if you could just read it again, because it's just mic drop.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: So wake up from my violent sleep, dust off my soapbox, and stand atop it. I'll yell and shout and fight tooth and nail because I'm a woman, and this is what I do. But no, I see you. I hear your silence across the country, next door and at the dinner table, and I condemn you for it, for you are complicit in the loss of my rights. Thankfully, I'll never lose my fight.
[00:16:28] Speaker A: You, Reagan, are a true warrior for justice. And I don't know if that. Now, as I've said that, that sounds like a cliche, but it's meant with the highest praise. You are a warrior. And it comes off in this piece. This is the writing of a warrior. And all I could think was, thank God you exist in this world and are doing this work and speaking these truths, because, boy, we need people speaking up because of exactly what you've been writing about. The silence is deadly, really, and everyone needs to be speaking. So my next question is for you. If there was. If you actually got a chance to speak to the whole world and say, give one message that people would hear, what would that be?
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Okay.
One message that everyone can hear, I would say, if you're not mad about something in the world, or if you don't want to change something in the world, then look around, because you might be the problem.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Oh, I love that quote, Reagan. And I especially love that you brought up anger, which is, I think, one of the most important emotions for us to recognize and own as women. It actually makes me think about something one of my teachers told me years ago, which is that anger is the first step to freedom. And I have since found that to be 100% true. Anger is the body's natural response to a violation. And until we let ourselves feel angry, we can't change the thing that's causing the problem. In fact, I think the people in power also know this. They also know the value and the power of anger, which is why women and girls have always been anger shamed, because they don't want us to wake up and take action. It's also why, as you know, I am always encouraging girls to write a list of things they're angry about, because I want us to connect to our anger so we can get fire it up and take action to change things.
I feel like anger is also the first step to leadership, which is what you have shown in writing this. Reagan, the next question is about your creative process, and if you have any advice for other young writers who are staring at the blank page or they get stuck, tell us a little bit about your creative process. What do you do when you get stuck? If you get stuck, just tell us how it is for you to write.
[00:19:04] Speaker B: Well, I always have a lot of things cooking in my head, so I would say I have an over abundance of ideas. So I've never quite encountered a blank page that I can't fill. It's more just like, I have one sentence, then I've got to build around that. I don't know. Most of my writing is in just a very semi eloquent rant style.
So it's more just like where that sentence takes me, and I just sort of let that happen.
I never have anything that, like, I really am like, oh, like, I need to get to this. I sort of just, like, let the conclusions come when they.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: Okay. That brings up another question. When you're writing, and it feels like, based on what you're saying, that you really, like, hit a vein every time. There's, like, a vein of truth that you just have to release and. And it flows out of you. What is your mindset when you're writing? Like, do you feel relaxed? Do you feel like it's almost like, pouring just coming through you? Are you thinking really hard? What's it like when you're writing?
[00:20:10] Speaker B: It's not a lot of thought. It's more just like, oh, like, this would sound cool. Or this. I don't know. I never take it too seriously, really.
There's really no punctuation.
All of the, like. I don't know. It's a very, like, really cliche, but it's very, like, musical process for me. Like, I like everything to have a very clear rhythm. It's more just like, wherever my. Whatever my head thinks of next, I never really think of it again once it's passed.
[00:20:36] Speaker A: That's interesting. I would. My interpretation of that is that you're writing intuitively. Like, intuition doesn't require thought, and that's often why we discount it. Just culturally, we tend to value, like, laborious, intense mental effort. But, of course, science is showing us that it's actually when your brain is relaxed and you're just letting your intuition, your intuitive ideas flow through, it's actually more sophisticated than intense, arduous, rational thought. Because our rational brain is actually quite small compared to our intuitive brain. So I'm hearing you say it's just like a intuitive flow of thoughts and feelings that have been just bubbling up in you and they get released. Which leads me to my next question, because you do have so many brilliant, wise, insightful thoughts to get onto the page. I mean, everything you've ever written has blown me away.
What do you do when you're not writing? What happens to all those ideas?
[00:21:38] Speaker B: I don't know. They just, like, I just let them pass by.
I'm not really writing things down that, like, I have a dream about. I don't know. I don't really reminisce on my thoughts unless it's, like, an assignment that I forgot to do.
I don't know. Like, if they happen in an important time, they have an important time, but, like, if I thought it once, it can always come back, so that's great.
[00:22:03] Speaker A: So they. They flow like a river. Sometimes you jump in the river. Sometimes you're not in the river, and then do you ever. Because again, I feel like listening to your writing is cathartic for me because it's just cathartic, meaning a release of pressure, because I'm hearing you, the writer, saying things that I also think, and it's so powerful to hear somebody say it. Is writing cathartic for you?
[00:22:28] Speaker B: Yes, writing is very cathartic.
I mean, like, you're putting something into actuality, and, like, once it's out, you can't take it back, especially if it's, like, pen written or, like, typed.
So, yeah, I mean, it's cathartic because, like, it makes things real, which I like, but some people might not like.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's. I mean, that's the power of writing. It seems like the writing itself, itself is. It's like an end unto itself. The process is its own fulfillment. Would you say that's true?
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, like, in a lot of ways, it's just like, the process is just sort of, like, where I get the joy out of it. Like, a lot of the stuff that I write or that, like, I need to write is kind of personal. I'm a pretty private person, so.
[00:23:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:24] Speaker B: Of anyone seeing it is definitely not where I get joy from the process.
[00:23:28] Speaker A: Yeah. It's just getting it out on the page.
And then my other question is, because I think about this all the time. For me, I feel sometimes that I can't express my truest ideas and ideals unless I'm writing, if I'm only talking, like, a lot of stuff gets sort of missed. I wonder if you, who are an amazing speaker and an amazing writer, ever feel like. Do you feel like writing is a more powerful tool for you?
[00:23:57] Speaker B: I think that writing is probably my most powerful tool only because, like, words can. Words are just words. There's no, like, permanence to them.
But writing is, like, a very permanent way of conveying your thoughts. And I think that's what makes it, like, a much better tool, especially the things that I want to achieve in life. I just think it's a much greater tool because, like, you really can't take back what's in writing.
[00:24:28] Speaker A: And depending on, no matter what you do, I know you're going to do amazing things. If you write something and it is printed, you can reach so many more people versus just saying it to one person.
[00:24:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I just think that, like, writing, like, words, like, even when I'm listening or learning, I have to read something to learn it and, like, retain it. Like, if someone's just talking to me, I'm not really remember the conversation, but I'll remember something I've read. So I think that, like, writing and reading and, like, that sense of, like, consuming the language, like, so much easier than just listening to a speech is, like, reading it for me, easier and more powerful because, like, immortalized, you know?
[00:25:18] Speaker A: That's beautiful. Makes me think of that quote that reading is breathing in and writing is breathing out.
So it sounds like that's what you do. You breathe it in and you breathe.
[00:25:30] Speaker B: Breathing. Yeah.
[00:25:31] Speaker A: Yeah. And also, I think I'm the same. I'm a visual learner, so I have to see it written versus some people. It's hearing it, but, yeah, words go right through, but reading it, seeing the words on the page. And it's also crazy when we think about what words are. They're just weird little marks. They're symbols. But we know what the symbols mean, and to us, they have such magnitude. You read something beautiful, it changes you. And I will say that I'll close on that thought that when I see and read your words on the page, it changes me. And everyone who hears your words is changed by them because they're these little marks that are loaded with power and wisdom and leadership. And I just want to thank you for the honor, truly of the honor of writing with you and talking with you about writing. You are incredible.
[00:26:25] Speaker B: Thank you so much.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: Thank you for your time. Megan, of course.
[00:26:29] Speaker B: This has been so good to talk to.
